What is the strangest thing from childhood that you've incorporated into an SM scene?
An excerpt from one of my favorite laughable scenes:
So there we were, in NYC on a Friday night.
Now, she and I have never played before.
I have asked her (before) what kind of scene she was up for, and all I was getting was "a spanking scene." Something nice, easy, get to know you kind of scene. I asked for limits, and only got the basics - blood, permanent marks, etc.
So I'm looking for someplace to stash Muppet DVDs we've gotten for someone's birthday. With the outfit I'm wearing, there's no hiding them, except up my back. Not exactly subtle. I stand in front of her, and push them between her legs.
Her lil black dress is unzipped down the front, and I begin rubbing the DVDs between her legs. (Did I ever say that I played fair?) I do this for a *while* ... to the point where I know she wants to come. "All you have to do is get off on the DVD..."
"no.... I can't," etc., soon follows.
I keep it up, and then pull the DVDs away and begin touching, tormenting with my fingers, through her panties. I tell her she can't come, that she has to use the DVD.
Eventually, she says "Fuck!" and grabs the Miss Piggy DVD and comes. Poor girl. She's mortified. She starts to zip up her dress, and I tell her no. Go exactly as you are and deliver that DVD to its intended recipient and tell him what you did.
She walks down the corridor, hands him the DVD and says "Miss Piggy and I are now intimate friends." He knows. She's ready to die.
Somehow, we progress into a scene in the red room with me topping her. I find that I'm not really all that interested in *hitting* her, I'm more interested in humiliating her... and she's already mortified. Soon, she wants to come again.
Eventually, she *really* wants to come.
I tell her that she can't, until I hear it - "Bork bork bork" - you know, the Swedish Chef.
She knows... I don't even have to repeat it.
Very, very quietly, I hear a "bork"
then "bork bork"
I tell her it has to be louder so that others can hear.
"BORK! BORK! BORK!" as she comes.
We burst into laughter and she wants to hit the floor.